Sometimes we do things even we are not proud of; hence we could have disappointing or hateful thoughts towards ourselves. Some people don’t believe they deserve good things in life, they find it hard to have a good time or buy things they want or need.
Valuing ourselves helps us to take actions that will move us forward in life , sometimes there are lies that keep playing in our minds, thoughts of failure, thoughts of rejection, thoughts of never finding love, thoughts of never achieving or attaining excellence.
All these thoughts are just negative emotions that serve as tools to weigh us down and stop us from achieving our dreams.
“the greatest enemies of success and happiness is negative emotions of all kinds”
Comparing yourself with other people most especially people who are seemingly better than you could be dangerous as it spikes more negative thoughts towards yourself and lowers your self-esteem.
Having friends, relatives or parents who are huge critics of everything in life from your hair cut to the kind of music you prefer can reduce your self-worth as they can make you feel weird and out of place with their criticism or worse they can make you feel dumb and incapable of managing your life.
Your life is neither a movie nor a book review, so as much as people’s opinions should not be disregarded, if an individual only sees the things you do wrong and not one single thing you do right, I would advise that you ignore the person’s opinion about you most of the time to avoid emotional wear out. So how then can we possibly practice self-love? Here’s how;
HOW TO LOVE YOUR-SELF
APPRECIATE WHO YOU ARE
Whether you are tall or short, thin or fat, beautiful or plain, appreciate what you look like at all times this helps to boost your self-esteem and confidence.
“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?
You must always remember that how you look is as a result of two people (your parents) their dominant and recessive genes contribute at least 99% to your physical attributes, having this in mind, remember that good looking guy or girl who always feel they are better than others because they are extremely good looking, well you need not envy them or be intimidated by their looks, they have their parents to thank for that, they did not work for their beauty.
“Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful. Zoe Kravitz
Always see yourself as the best (not in a proud or arrogant mind set) but as being valuable despite how you look. Celebrate yourself for even the slightest achievements, give yourself a treat, buy that expensive dress, and take that trip or vacation when needed.
BELIEVE YOU ARE DESERVING
You should have only one thought about yourself and that is you deserve the best in life, this is not an arrogant or proud ideology, it is just seeing yourself despite your short comings as worthy and deserving of your dream job, home or spouse.
“If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never find it. If you don’t know what you deserve, you’ll always settle for less.
Believe you deserve a good relationship don’t stay in an abuse relationship either verbal or physical because you feel you might not find someone who would love you if you leave the relationship.
Always be grateful for the even smallest things that you have in your life e.g. having a roof over your head, having a job, being able to afford basic necessities of life. Be grateful for the simple things in life like sunlight, being able to breathe without the aid of a breathing apparatus, being able to walk, see, hear, eat etc.
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.
No matter your situation or present circumstance there is someone out there who wishes they have what you have.
STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT
You can have perfect works of arts, clothes, books, jobs but you can’t have a perfect human because we are unique and are molded by our experiences, culture and society.
“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection”
Trying to be perfect as individuals creates tension within us as we see flaws in things even before we see the beauty of things, and perfection also drives one to seek approval and validation at all times. Strive for the best at all times but remember not all things are within your control.
Loving your self is the first step to living a confident and fulfilled life, when you love yourself you are able to love others around you, when you see yourself as beautiful, worthy and deserving you begin to see others that way also, remember the biblical saying love your neighbor as you love yourself.
“Stay happy, blessed and confident, be yourself, love yourself, pray for yourself and most importantly be grateful to your creator. usoro iniobong
N.B Self-love should not be confused with selfishness.
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