LOVING YOURSELF

 

Sometimes we do things even we are not proud of; hence we could have disappointing or hateful thoughts towards ourselves. Some people don’t believe they deserve good things in life, they find it hard to have a good time or buy things they want or need.

 

Valuing ourselves helps us to take actions that will move us forward in life , sometimes there are lies that keep playing in our minds, thoughts of failure, thoughts of rejection, thoughts of never finding love, thoughts of never achieving or attaining excellence.

All these thoughts are just negative emotions that serve as tools to weigh us down and stop us from achieving our dreams.

 

“the greatest enemies of success and happiness is negative emotions of all kinds”

 

Comparing yourself with other people most especially people who are seemingly better than you could be dangerous as it spikes more negative thoughts towards yourself and lowers your self-esteem.

Having friends, relatives or parents who are huge critics of everything in life from your hair cut to the kind of music you prefer can reduce your self-worth as they can make you feel weird and out of place with their criticism or worse they can make you feel dumb and incapable of managing your life.

 

Your life is neither a movie nor a book review, so as much as people’s opinions should not be disregarded, if an individual only sees the things you do wrong and not one single thing you do right, I would advise that you ignore the person’s opinion about you most of the time to avoid emotional wear out. So how then can we possibly practice self-love?  Here’s how;

 

HOW TO LOVE YOUR-SELF

 

APPRECIATE WHO YOU ARE

 

Whether you are tall or short, thin or fat, beautiful or plain, appreciate what you look like at all times this helps to boost your self-esteem and confidence.

 

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

                                                                                               Ian Wallace

 

You must always remember that how you look is as a result of two people (your parents) their dominant and recessive genes contribute at least 99% to your physical attributes, having this in mind, remember that good looking guy or girl who always feel they are better than others because they are extremely good looking, well you need not envy them or be intimidated by their looks, they have their parents to thank for that, they did not work for their beauty.

 

“Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself. When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.  Zoe Kravitz

 

Always see yourself as the best (not in a proud or arrogant mind set) but as being valuable despite how you look. Celebrate yourself for even the slightest achievements, give yourself a treat, buy that expensive dress, and take that trip or vacation when needed.

 

BELIEVE YOU ARE DESERVING

 

You should have only one thought about yourself and that is you deserve the best in life, this is not an arrogant or proud ideology, it is just seeing yourself despite your short comings as worthy   and deserving of your dream job, home or spouse.

 

“If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never find it. If you don’t know what you deserve, you’ll always settle for less.

                                                                                                              Rob Liano

 

Believe you deserve a good relationship don’t stay in an abuse relationship either verbal or physical because you feel you might not find someone who would love you if you leave the relationship.

 

BE GRATEFUL

Always be grateful for the even smallest things that you have in your life e.g. having a roof over your head, having a job, being able to afford basic necessities of life. Be grateful for the simple things in life like sunlight, being able to breathe without the aid of a breathing apparatus, being able to walk, see, hear, eat etc.

 

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.  

                                                                                              Epicurus

No matter your situation or present circumstance there is someone out there who wishes they have what you have.

 

STOP TRYING TO BE PERFECT

 

You can have perfect works of arts, clothes, books, jobs but you can’t have a perfect human because we are unique and are molded by our experiences, culture and society.

 

“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection”

                                                                                                   Kim Collins

 

Trying to be perfect as individuals creates tension within us as we see flaws in things even before we see the beauty of things, and perfection also drives one to seek approval and validation at all times. Strive for the best at all times but remember not all things are within your control.

 

Loving your self is the first step to living a confident and fulfilled life, when you love yourself you are able to love others around you, when you see yourself as beautiful, worthy and deserving you begin to see others that way also, remember the biblical saying love your neighbor as you love yourself.

 

“Stay happy, blessed and confident, be yourself, love yourself, pray for yourself and most importantly be grateful to your creator.                                                                  usoro iniobong

 

N.B   Self-love should not be confused with selfishness.

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STAYING RELEVANT

 

 

I always feel disappointed when my favorite brand decreases in quality, be it a drink, cereal, biscuit, or TV show (yes those too can decline over time). There are many TV programs that start out extremely popular and interesting but decline over the years, the same goes for musicians and actors.

 

Take for example some musician were popular at one point in time of their careers, they even had several hit songs and before you know it these people just go puff!  They literally disappeared from the entertainment industry, am sure you can think of both local and international artist that have gone underground. While some seem to grow stronger and perform better as they age in the industry.

 

Cooperate organizations and individuals are not left out, there are times when we seem to be on top our game, and there are times when it seems like we are just not hitting the mark. But there are many people all over the world who seem to be upping their game and staying relevant throughout their careers.

 

Cooperate brands like the Coca-Cola Company, Apple, Microsoft etc, and some social media platforms such as Facebook and twitter have managed to stay relevant over the years. So what does it really take to stay relevant as a brand, business organization or an individual?  Let’s find out together;

 

HAVE A LEARNING ATTITUDE

 

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.                                                                                Henry Ford

 

The difference between individuals or brands that remain at the top consistently is a learning attitude, they believe there is always room for improvement, and they always improve their products and services. They always find new ways to serve their customers better and most importantly they always want to know the needs and demands of their customers and meet those needs and demands.

 

“Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

                  Samuel Johnson

 

As an individual try to be verse, learn about things that are not related to your field of study or skill sets, you never know what knowledge you have that might be an added advantage to you.

 

KEEP UPGRADING

You can always become a better version of you, wonder  why brands like coca cola seem to change the appearance of their product over time (especially their bottle) and so many other brands give their products facelifts from time to time. It is because upgrading your products or services is one of the best ways to stay relevant in your chosen field or industry. Some things you can do to upgrade your brand are

• Reading books
• Attending workshops ,seminars and conferences
• Further your education
• Connect with people who are doing well in your industry or chosen field
• Market research (find out what your customers want or need)

 

BE OPEN TO CHANGE

 

“To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often. Winston Churchill

 

Nothing is static in life, change is constant and in this twenty-first century there are many changes especially in technology. People and things are evolving and you should evolve with them, there will always be a new approach to everything from production of food to service delivery. E.g. use of the internet to make payments for goods and services compared to physical payment for goods and services in the past.

 

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.   George Bernard shaw

 

Embrace new ways and approach to life, for example many brands have embraced the use of social media platforms to advertise their products and services. Even politicians have benefited from the use of social media platforms during election campaigns.

 

NEVER GIVE UP

 

“Never, never, never give up. Winston Churchill

 Sometimes people take risks and those risks don’t pay off especially in business, staying relevant requires taking risk and trying new things. Even if it doesn’t work out, no matter the losses incurred you have to find courage to move on to the next challenge without fear of failing again.

 

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5 REASONS WHY YOU HATE EXERCISE

 

Are you  tired of telling yourself am going to exercise and then you end up not doing it  well you can stop feeling guilty, this is not a post to remind you of your short comings when it comes to your health.  This post covers top five reasons why you hardly exercise.

 

• Like all good things exercise takes self-discipline and commitment
• You are Lazy when it comes to physical activity
• You have a busy schedule
• You like sleep and can’t imagine waking up early in the morning just to exercise
• you feel it is only meant for people who want to lose weight

 

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Exercise takes commitment but you don’t have to take it as one serious task or something that only athletes or serious minded people do. Personally I never really liked exercise until I was gingered (i.e. motivated) by a friend to start jogging. This is a form of exercise I actually enjoy I decided to take exercise in short strides, I started with just 30 minutes of jogging daily I also set a time frame for two weeks in which i would jog consistently, I did this so as not to put pressure on myself. Sincerely it was painful at first as all my body felt sore but as I got used to it, it became enjoyable and I looked forward to exercising every day.

 

If you are lazy about exercise you might need to enlist the services of a Personal Trainer to motivate you and keep you on track. You can also find friends who are interested in exercising and you can motivate each other to exercise daily.

Some people are just too busy to exercise on a daily basis, Being a career person, a student with a huge work load or a single mother with little kids to raise doesn’t really give you any time to think of exercise or even actually doing it. If you are one of such people who are too busy to exercise daily make good use of your weekend. You can enroll in a gym or a sports club this way you still get to unwind and reap the benefits of exercise.

Everyone likes to sleep in a few hours extra, so getting out of bed early in the morning to exercise might seem like lot of work.  I do it sometimes, there are days I practically have to give myself a pep talk on why I should stand up from bed and when I finally do I have to drag myself to exercise but each time I do, it’s always worth it.

Exercise is not just meant for those who want to lose weight. As part of healthy living, regular exercise is advised it keeps you strong and healthy physically and mentally. I know most people already know the health benefits of exercise, aside avoiding complicated health conditions here are a few other reasons why you should start exercising today.

 

Reasons why you should like exercise.

• Keeps you fit
• Increases blood flow to all parts of your body giving you a healthy glow
• Gives you drive and purpose
• Lifts your mood
• Helps you lose excess weight

 

 

NB: If you have a heart condition or breathing problems such as asthma, I would advise you to avoid strenuous exercise and also consult with a health care worker so as to know what forms of exercise are safe and still beneficial for you to practice. Living a sedentary lifestyle is bad for your health; you need to start seeing exercise as fun and a necessity for your wellbeing make a decision to start exercising today.

 

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The church and Gender inequality

 

 

Despite all our acclaimed spirituality gender inequality is still very much in the church, people allow their culture to influence their views and relationships with the opposite sex.

What is the church’s role in gender inequality, as ambassadors of Christ the church is a mirror and should reflex Christ like behaviors, we are to set an example of how women should be treated in larger society, sadly the church today is not immune from gender inequality.

 

Women have taken the role of feminist opposing all things male dominated and if the church does not curb inequality in the church, our sisters will one day take the same stance. Matthew 5 vs. 16 says let our light shine forth that men may see the glory of god in our lives but what kind of light does the church reflex when it comes to gender equality.

 

As Paul said in (Galatians 3:28) “ There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male or female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus. When gifts were given to all men as described by the bible women were not given gifts for welfare and children ministry alone, rather they all men whether male or female can express any of these gifts according to how it is apportioned to them.

 

In many churches we see that women hold certain kinds of positions or certain kinds of roles, women do not preach regularly especially on Sunday service rather they are mostly seen women and children ministry. Even in today’s modern church the wives of general overseers and pastors do not get to preach on the pulpit on Sundays, the question we should ask our-selves is if this is a biblical stand point of women’s role in the church or a cultural view of  women’s ’ role in the church.

 

As Christians our greatest role is  to serve one another not to oppress each other. If men and women face oppression outside the church they must find solace when they come to church rather than face the same problems they have to tackle in the world.

 

 

I don’t believe in gender equality, men and women are different in many ways rather I believe all humans are equal be it male or female. Gender Equality should be approached from this perspective to avoid manipulations on the part of either sexes. When you see the other party as a person who has equal rights to you would treat them with love and respect.

 

In conclusion gender equality is a personal responsibility, both within and outside the church decide today that you want to treat every human you come across the same way, and you would treat your children and encourage them to strive for the best irrespective of their sex.

 

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THE SILENT CHURCH

 

Over the years the church has played a huge role in influencing society, politics and culture, from the abolishment of the killing of twins and stopping of human sacrifice in Africa to civil rights movement in America and South Africa. Sadly today we see the church take a back seat in influencing its environment especially when it comes to social vices in todays’ complex society.

 

The church is supposed to be a light in the world (Matthew 5:14) and address issues that affect humanity but we seem to be more concerned about making heaven than helping people live better lives while they are on earth, some examples of these issues include intimate partner violence(domestic violence), homosexuality, political injustice and gender inequality.

 

Even within the church some of these issues are thriving, take gender equality for example instead of advocating for equality of all men, the church has consciously or unconsciously put women in certain roles, there are only a few ministries were women are key preachers or pastor churches. Women are often found in children, welfare or women ministry.

 

These are important ministries but women should have equal opportunities in the churches were they fellowship, because in God’s eyes both man and women are equal (Romans 2:11) and can be used expressively according to the gifts that God gives them.

 

When Jesus was on earth as much as he respected political and religious authorities, he never failed to speak against cultural or religious practices that oppressed the weak and caused suffering; we can see these in his approach to the Samaritan woman who had been with 5 husbands (john 4:4-42) or the adulteress who the people wanted to stone ( despite the fact her partner was spared from such brutality and public disgrace), Jesus words were let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone (john 8:1-11 NLT), not let the one who is a man throw the first stone.

 

When we say the church is silent, I speak not of buildings and walls but of people that make up the body of Christ. When your next door neighbor constantly beats his wife or a maid is constantly abused by her owners’ do you sit in your house and pray that they will one day change or do you confront them with their wrong doings and report to the appropriate authorities.

 

Even within the church some women experience intimate partner violence (domestic violence) and instead of church to constantly address these problems both outside and within the church, we believe all our members are holy and can do no wrong so we don’t talk about these things in church.

 

As ambassadors of Christ and lights of the world we have a responsibility to respond to human suffering and social injustice.

 

How then can the church respond to social injustice and correct some wrongs in society, the church should stop taking a back sit when it comes to politics and serving in administrative positions, when we look at the house of assembly, Senate and constitution representatives today how many can we say are followers of Christ and not just church going Christians.

 

In our student unions on campuses how many sons and daughters of God take active participation in leadership roles. The church should encourage one another to participate actively in politics this is one of the ways of influencing our society

 

The church has become passive in picking leaders that govern their communities and Nation, praying that the right candidate for a political position wins election is good but we can also influence the outcome of who wins or loses election be coming out to vote, most Christians do not vote they would rather sit at home on election days and say let God’s will be done.

 

The church should not hesitate to speak against wrong cultural practices; there are still numerous practices of human degradation going on around the world. The church should be vigilant (Watch and pray) at all times, if the church was more vigilant certain events that happen around the world would not take place (Luke 21:36).

And most importantly the church should never cease to intercede for those suffering all over the world. The church must always remember that we have only one enemy which is the devil and as such we must approach situations and individuals that oppose the values and beliefs of the church with love, keeping in mind that we wrestle not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12).

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