Are you running out of Time?

Ever seen the 2011 movie ‘In Time’ staring Justin Timberlake , It’s a movie where time available to an individual is both currency for buying and selling and also the heartbeat of the individual, in the movie once a character is out of time they  die.  We might not depend on ticking clocks to live every day but we do live in a digital age with many distractions, these distractions keep us from doing what is most important to our wellbeing. We spend so much time involved in these distractions

 

Examples of distractions

The social media:

The social media is a trend this days, there’s so much happening that you can’t seem to put you phone down, so much information is streaming all the time there are videos to download and watch on YouTube, pictures to look at on instagram, friends to chat with on numerous messengers and endless trending topics to be involved in on twitter.

 

 

Don’t get me wrong the social media is like a revolution, from our personal lives to business and global change the social media is a powerful tool when used appropriately but when you do not finish your task for the day at your place of work, or you do not study as a student because you were on the social network all day then it becomes a problem.

 

 

Tech world:

Gadgets! Gadgets! Gadgets! Who doesn’t love them from Phones to Tablets and portable PC, they are unique, sleek, fashionable and very handy but they also give us access to numerous apps and games which could be very distracting. Take Candy Crush for instance, very interesting game but time consuming, you keep playing one level after another and before you know it you have played the game for close to two hours or more at a spot

 

 

Imagine you are at work and you just decided to take a mental break and you decided to play this game (candy crush) and the next thing you know you have encroached into your working time. Enough said gadgets are good, they make information more accessible to us but we need to know when to put them away.

 

 

Television:

Back to Back every series was hit and somehow we just can’t stop watching them, The Mentalist season 1-7; ”Scandal”, ”How to get away with murder” and every other interesting series and Tv programs streaming on our airwaves .

 

 

The television is filled with so many programs and with the introduction of affordable cable TV people are glued to their T.V screens.  Watching TV is not a bad thing but when you develop a relationship with motion pictures instead of those around you and you spend time that you could have used for something else in watching TV , then it becomes an issue and a time waster

I remember as a child during the holidays my parents would go to work after assigning chores I was supposed to do that day, once they leave the house I would put on the TV and watch cartoons from when my parents leave up till when they get back without doing any of the assigned chores. Even as an adult I have to consciously keep track of time when watching movies.

 

 

These are just a few examples; people spend so much time on activities that are not top priority to their goals in life. No one is perfect but if you could just get timing right, you would be able to meet deadlines and avoid doing everything at the last minute, doing things at the last minute reduces your productivity.

 

 

According to Author Marc Macini Time management is merely a series of choices; it is a skill that enables you to differentiate between what you need to do and what you’d prefer to do.  Time management is crucial to every individual, organization and religious institution. Whether you are a full time house wife, employee, business owner or student, time management is an absolute necessity. If you find it difficult to manage your time properly you would always struggle to keep up with important things in your personal, social and professional life, in my next post i will be writing on a few easy tips that will help you manage your time well. Till I write post I leave you with this

” if you don’t manage your time well your time will manage you’’.

 

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Are you a perfectionist?

 

 

I used to be a perfectionist always wanting to get everything right, I wanted to be good at anything I was doing, not just being good at it but being the best at it. I wanted to always come top of the class and anything less than that made me depressed, I always push myself to accomplish a lot, little did I know I was making myself unhappy, all that competition made me feel less than I was, inadequate and insecure. Although people praised me for my achievements, I wanted more accomplishments, more praise and approval from people.

A perfectionist wants every aspect of his or her life to be perfect, their relationships have to be perfect hence they find it hard to accept that people have flaws and should be tolerated, being perfect means you want things to come out excellent but you can’t expect this of every individual around you.

 

 

We are supposed to look within us for inspiration and drive towards success and excellence, the moment we look at others who we feel are better than us as the benchmark for success and excellence we begin to take a path of un-fulfillment and unhappiness because whether we like it or not there will always be people who are better than us. There will always be people who are smarter than us. It is good to look up to role models or want to be a better version of our-selves but we must avoid unhealthy competition.

Perfectionists are hard to please so don’t bother trying; your parents might be perfectionist, your pastor, your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend. They only seem to be pleased with you when you do good things any shortcomings from your end turns them off.

 

Here are the top 5 Traits of a perfectionist

 

UNHEALTY COMPETITION

A perfectionist doesn’t compete well, they look at others and set their goals, they are prone to envy because they believe if someone is better than them at something it means the person is a better individual than them and likely to succeed more than them, which is a wrong notion, you should strive to be better but don’t look at other people’s lives as the yard stick for success rather look within yourself and set your goals for success and excellence.

 

THINKING ALL EYES ARE ON YOU

A perfectionist feels people will disapprove of their behavior if it is not perfect. If they are in public they are self-conscious and take or rehearse anything they are about to say before saying it which could make conversing with them quite boring and unoriginal (not that you shouldn’t think before talking but try to be less impressionable) enjoy talking to people but it should not be taken too seriously unless you are in a formal setting.

 

You think people are watching your every behavior critiquing and awarding marks to you this is actually an illusion, yes maybe someone stares at you in a public place that doesn’t mean they are sizing you up or judging you maybe they think you are cute or they love what you are wearing either way whether they have positive or negative thoughts towards you, you should not let that get to you. If you think you owe the world a favor by doing things perfectly then you are wrong.

 

OVERRATING PEOPLE’S OPINION OF WHO YOU ARE

When someone says something about you, you take it personal and become defensive, you value people’s opinion of who you are than your own opinion of yourself, its true we should listen to what people have to say about us for the purpose of growth but we should not build our lives on their opinions as no one knows you better than yourself.

 

BEING HARD ON YOURSELF

If you find it hard to forgive yourself for saying the wrong things, forgetting to do something important, than you might be a perfectionist you can’t always get everything right, when you make mistakes let go and allow yourself to move forward and heal.

You need to give yourself a break for example you don’t eat well because you want to be in perfect shape, this is wrong you should love yourself no matter what happens begin to appreciate who you are and value yourself.

 

 

BEING INTENSE AND UPTIGHT

People find it difficult to be around you as they are afraid if they say the wrong thing you might become angry or depressed, you critique people according to standards you have set for yourself, you are hard to please and rarely forgive others for their flaws or mistakes, and most times you only see the negative aspects of a situation.

You hardly show emotions. Life should be lived in joy and happiness being intense is bad for you, your health and those around you. Whether you are a parent, employer, teacher, spouse or friend being a perfectionist puts the people around you under pressure and they carry a burden of wanting to meet your expectations around.

NB: There are upsides to being a perfectionist some of the greatest artist in history were perfectionist creating flawless art works and inventions, they cover minute details and make sure that their work is perfect. They always go for the best or nothing else, they drill people until they get the best out of them.

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GOALS!

 

Setting and meeting up with goals takes determination and discipline, Brain Tracy’s book ‘’GOALS’’ illuminates easy step by step methods to set realistic goals and live up to them, when I first came across this book, at the beginning of this year (2016) i read the book and set goals for myself, am halfway through the year and when I reviewed the goals I set at the beginning of the year I found out that I had accomplished at least 70% of them.

 

This book it has changed my goal setting abilities and helped me live up those goals, what am doing now is reviewing those goals I couldn’t achieve and setting new ones to accomplish them. Goal setting and following through with your goals is a process, it takes time but it’s totally worth it.

 

 

 

Everyone has a dream whether it is to one day own a big business or to be able to speak a certain language, a key instruments towards achieving your dreams is to set goals towards these dreams, goals bring you closer to your dreams. They create an internalized atmosphere towards achieving things you once thought were impossible. Here are a few quotes from the book

 

• “You can learn anything you need to learn to accomplish any goal you can set for yourself.” No one is smarter than you and no one is better than you. All business skills, sales skills and moneymaking skills are learnable.
• “Only 3% of adults have written goals, and everyone else works for them.”
• “Only20% of the reasons you are not achieving your goal are on the outside. Always start with yourself.”

 

If you are thinking short term or long term goals this is the book for you. ENJOY THE READ

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THE GREEN SICKNESS

 

Ever heard the phrase “Green with envy” ? Wouldn’t it be horrifying if you turned green like the marvel comic character THE HULK each time you were envious of someone’s success or achievements. Envy is one of the fiercest human emotions with the ability to destroy friendships, families and relationships.
There are a lot of things to be envious about, from being more beautiful to having more money or more intelligence or having smarter kids or a better job, no matter how great you are there is always a better version of you, At your workplace, your neighborhood or church envy can rear its ugly head anywhere usually resulting into strife and hatred.
Most people with a conscience just stew or get depressed when they see someone better than them but the over ambitious guy or girl sees anyone better than them as a treat and will go to any length to belittle others, For such people envy drives them to spite others, defame or slander other people, steal, or worse commit murder there is no limit to what an envious person can do to bring others that are seemingly better than him or her down. Here are a few characteristics of an envious individual.

1) GOSSIPING
Everyone loves a good old gossip who knows everybody’s business even more than their own, well this individual ignores the mind your own business phase, where can you find them? Everywhere (at the office, church, your neighborhood, school etc.)

Nothing beats envious behaviors in form of slander which is what a gossip does when he or she opens their mouth, they likely to tell you what is wrong with everyone around them (most of which if properly investigated are false statements) while secretly wishing they could be like others. It’s like they are a secret service agency with files on everyone’s life. Be careful though, if they are dishing out gossip to you they are probably gossiping about you to someone else.
2) UNHEALTHY COMPETITION

Being beautiful and talented should have been enough for Kate but somehow she just wants it all, if her roommate gets a new pair of shoes well she wants the exact same one or something better, everything is a race for her. She has to have the latest gadgets and if one of her friends uses a higher brand than hers than she must buy that brand. There is no limit to what she can do to make sure she is the best at any and everything. Usually you find an individual like Kate on campus; she could be your roommate or classmate either way she is always asking you where you bought your bag, shoe, clothes etc.

3) OVERLY AMBITIOUS
Tony is confident, smart and perhaps a little arrogant, he believes he should win always whether he is playing basketball with his friends or just watching a game with you. You would mostly find a guy like tony in the office. He would do anything to bring down people who are seemingly better than him including implicating them in one form or the other just to make sure he stays on top always. You could also see him during a sports game he is the one who refuses to pass the ball because he wants to score and take the glory of the win for himself.
4) HUGE EGO
If pride could speak and walk it would come in form of this individual everything and everyone not under his or her control is a treat. If a promotion comes up at the office well he should be the one getting it not the puny guy he feels is underserving. This individual believes he is better than most people even on his worst days. This individual could be a moralist and have a holier than thou attitude, anyway there is a lot of them in church handing out instructions on how people should live their lives and how people should raise their children, they have perfectionist tendencies.
They believe they are more deserving than others, if someone gets a new car they believe it should have been them. Sadly there are many individuals out there with so much potential who have undermined themselves because of envy; here are a few tips on managing the feelings of envy.

STRIVE TO BE A BETTER YOU
There is greatness in every man if he looks within, it’s true some people or persons are more successful than others but every man defines what success means to him or her. Success for one man might mean having private jets, being CEO of many companies etc. and success for someone else might mean having a stable job with lots of benefits, a nice house, a family and peace of mind. Instead of using or seeing others as a template for success you should strive or work towards self-improvement, change the things you don’t like about yourself .

DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE
Some school of thoughts are of the opinion that envy can be a positive emotion because it makes us realize the things that we want or the areas of our lives we want to improve, while this may be true I believe we don’t need envy to be the driving force for change and self- improvement rather each individual should decide the kind of life they really want to live, set goals that will help achieve their dreams and work towards those goals.

FOCUS ON WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE
Every individual has a unique ability, there is something you do that comes naturally to you more than other individuals rather than try be someone else, find your strengths and what you are really good at and excel at that instead of wishing you had the next guys ability and were exactly like him.

BE HUMBLE
Try not to see yourself as superior to others,  instead treat people with love and respect. Everyone deserves the good things of life .so when someone gets something you want badly don’t be unhappy, envious or depressed rather rejoice with them.

DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Personally my relationship with God is the only reason I can overcome feelings of envy, ROMANs 12:2  tells me to continually renew my mind with the word of God and to rejoice when others rejoice. Every day I am more grateful than the last for the things in my life, I am grateful to my creator and this helps me stay content.

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