Ever heard the phrase “Green with envy” ? Wouldn’t it be horrifying if you turned green like the marvel comic character THE HULK each time you were envious of someone’s success or achievements. Envy is one of the fiercest human emotions with the ability to destroy friendships, families and relationships.
There are a lot of things to be envious about, from being more beautiful to having more money or more intelligence or having smarter kids or a better job, no matter how great you are there is always a better version of you, At your workplace, your neighborhood or church envy can rear its ugly head anywhere usually resulting into strife and hatred.
Most people with a conscience just stew or get depressed when they see someone better than them but the over ambitious guy or girl sees anyone better than them as a treat and will go to any length to belittle others, For such people envy drives them to spite others, defame or slander other people, steal, or worse commit murder there is no limit to what an envious person can do to bring others that are seemingly better than him or her down. Here are a few characteristics of an envious individual.
Everyone loves a good old gossip who knows everybody’s business even more than their own, well this individual ignores the mind your own business phase, where can you find them? Everywhere (at the office, church, your neighborhood, school etc.)
Nothing beats envious behaviors in form of slander which is what a gossip does when he or she opens their mouth, they likely to tell you what is wrong with everyone around them (most of which if properly investigated are false statements) while secretly wishing they could be like others. It’s like they are a secret service agency with files on everyone’s life. Be careful though, if they are dishing out gossip to you they are probably gossiping about you to someone else.
2) UNHEALTHY COMPETITION
Being beautiful and talented should have been enough for Kate but somehow she just wants it all, if her roommate gets a new pair of shoes well she wants the exact same one or something better, everything is a race for her. She has to have the latest gadgets and if one of her friends uses a higher brand than hers than she must buy that brand. There is no limit to what she can do to make sure she is the best at any and everything. Usually you find an individual like Kate on campus; she could be your roommate or classmate either way she is always asking you where you bought your bag, shoe, clothes etc.
3) OVERLY AMBITIOUS
Tony is confident, smart and perhaps a little arrogant, he believes he should win always whether he is playing basketball with his friends or just watching a game with you. You would mostly find a guy like tony in the office. He would do anything to bring down people who are seemingly better than him including implicating them in one form or the other just to make sure he stays on top always. You could also see him during a sports game he is the one who refuses to pass the ball because he wants to score and take the glory of the win for himself.
4) HUGE EGO
If pride could speak and walk it would come in form of this individual everything and everyone not under his or her control is a treat. If a promotion comes up at the office well he should be the one getting it not the puny guy he feels is underserving. This individual believes he is better than most people even on his worst days. This individual could be a moralist and have a holier than thou attitude, anyway there is a lot of them in church handing out instructions on how people should live their lives and how people should raise their children, they have perfectionist tendencies.
They believe they are more deserving than others, if someone gets a new car they believe it should have been them. Sadly there are many individuals out there with so much potential who have undermined themselves because of envy; here are a few tips on managing the feelings of envy.
STRIVE TO BE A BETTER YOU
There is greatness in every man if he looks within, it’s true some people or persons are more successful than others but every man defines what success means to him or her. Success for one man might mean having private jets, being CEO of many companies etc. and success for someone else might mean having a stable job with lots of benefits, a nice house, a family and peace of mind. Instead of using or seeing others as a template for success you should strive or work towards self-improvement, change the things you don’t like about yourself .
DEFINE WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE
Some school of thoughts are of the opinion that envy can be a positive emotion because it makes us realize the things that we want or the areas of our lives we want to improve, while this may be true I believe we don’t need envy to be the driving force for change and self- improvement rather each individual should decide the kind of life they really want to live, set goals that will help achieve their dreams and work towards those goals.
FOCUS ON WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE
Every individual has a unique ability, there is something you do that comes naturally to you more than other individuals rather than try be someone else, find your strengths and what you are really good at and excel at that instead of wishing you had the next guys ability and were exactly like him.
Try not to see yourself as superior to others, instead treat people with love and respect. Everyone deserves the good things of life .so when someone gets something you want badly don’t be unhappy, envious or depressed rather rejoice with them.
DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Personally my relationship with God is the only reason I can overcome feelings of envy, ROMANs 12:2 tells me to continually renew my mind with the word of God and to rejoice when others rejoice. Every day I am more grateful than the last for the things in my life, I am grateful to my creator and this helps me stay content.
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