The Illusion of Time. A tale of life’s individual race.

Life is beautiful and with it comes a journey. If we all focus on our journey and not look side ways or backwards, we will soon discover that we are all winners and no one is ever late. iniusoro

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The Confident Woman.

My humble self volunteering for CancerAwareNg in 2017.

I know what it is to live in the 21st century, in the age of technology and social media. if you ask me what has held today’s young lady (woman) back from attaining her full potentials i will say confidence. Well that is my take on the cause of majority of the problems that plagues todays’ woman.

Today’s woman needs:

Confidence that transcends into making the right choices.

Confidence that transcends into the ability to pursue her dreams.

That allows her to walk out of bad relationships.

Confidence that translates into picking the right spouse.

Confidence that allows her to know it is ok to be alone.

Confidence that transcends into lifting other women up, rather than putting them down.

Confidence that transcends into faith in her God, in herself and in other women around her.

Confidence that transcends into knowing her worth.

Confidence that transcends into self love and appreciation.

I know what it is to live in the 21st century and confidence has taken me farther than I can ever imagine.

Related post

The Self Image of The 21st Century Woman

Walk The Talk: The follow through process.

“Words do less than 10 things, but actions do more than 10 thousand things. Leaders don’t talk in vain; they follow with actions.” Israelmore Ayivor

Thinks50.com

Talk is cheap goes the popular saying, unless you are an MC or standup comedian who gets paid to talk, then just saying things you will do and not acting on them can kill your chances of ever achieving your dreams. It is common for ambitious people to verbalize their dreams to their family and friends and possible prospective investors but the real trick comes in pursuing those ideas no matter the obstacles one might encounter.

If you observe closely everyone has some sort of dream they will like to achieve or the next big idea but the question is are they willing to pay the price to see these dreams come to reality, many people give up on dreams when the road to achieving those dreams get rough or after they have had several setbacks.

Since this is a new year, you can have a fresh start; here are 6 ways to walk the talk.

  • Write down your dreams or ambitions, don’t just say it put it in ink and paper (a journal preferable).
  • Expect setbacks not failure, success by chance or at first trial are rare but if it happens to you then congratulations.
  • Expect hard work, someone once said people run away from opportunities because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. If you want to be successful be prepared to serve the time necessary.
  • Be accountable, have a mentor or someone who has achieved success in the area you are pursuing and seek their advice and counsel.
  • Be courageous, take a step towards achieving your dreams, I have tried it, it was scary at first but it paid off in the end. Sign up for that class, invest in that business etc. No one ever achieves anything by doing nothing.
  • Believe, be optimistic, be positive, have faith, the need for these can never be over emphasized.

 

How to Respect Yourself.

“Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolised .” Albert Einstein

They say respect is reciprocal true, across all races, cultures, sex or age groups a desire for respect is common. We all want to be respected and valued but do we offer the people around us the same courtesy.

Here are five ways you could respect people and ultimately yourself.

(1) Respect  People’s Boundaries or Wishes.

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“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Laurence sterne

Having attended a boarding school and living in the hostel as a student in the university, one thing I have learnt is to give people their personal space, if someone says nobody should use my bucket or nobody should use my stuffs without my permission I think its sheer courtesy to actually obey their wishes, this does not mean you are afraid of them but rather that you are willing to make room for their wishes.

Some individuals do not like to be touched, everyone has boundaries especially when cohabiting with others whether it is being in a student hostel or living with your siblings, if someone says don’t wear my clothes, use or go through my things without my permission, respect their wishes.

(2) Don’t  Look Down on People

“I speak to everyone in the same way whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Albert Einstein.

Everyone around you has a quota to contribute, someone has to drive you around (e.g. public transportation) and someone has to sell newspapers or deliver your mail. All these people are relevant to you because they supply your needs in form of Goods and services. You being a managing director or CEO does not mean you should look down on others within or outside where you work.

“A person is a person no matter how small.” Dr Seuss

It’s too easy to feel you are better than the next person, when you see people who are not up to your standard, how do you treat them, do you treat them with disdain or respect. It’s true there can be no equal society but there are equal rights and everyone is entitled to a little respect.

 (3) Don’t Intimidate People

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No one likes to be bullied, for example when you intimidate people especially in a work place environment, what you are saying is the people who you work with or supervise are incompetent and incapable of doing their work unless you push them around like puns on a chess board. And sometimes intimidating people comes from a place of deep insecurity where you believe to get respect you have to be intimidating to others. This behavior does not show value or respect for those around you be it friends, family or co-workers.

(4) Don’t Manipulate People

Everyone likes to be the smartest guy in the room but being the smartest guy in the room doesn’t mean you should use it to hurt others. There are different kinds of manipulations, some use tears and emotions to get people to do what they want, others use tricky and the list is endless. If you want something come out straight and ask for it, no one wants to be used. And if you are rejected, walk away like an honourable person.

(5) Respecting Peoples Opinion or Choices.

“Have a big enough heart to love unconditionally, and a broad enough mind to embrace the difference that make each of us unique.”  D.B Harrop

Everyone has a right to his or her opinion; one of the greatest forms of respect is to see the next human as rational and capable of having their own belief system. Am not saying you have to agree with what they believe in but when you tear down people for their views you demoralize them, rather if you have an argument with the way someone around you acts or the things they believe in, just present your case to them and if they don’t listen let them be.

If we value ourselves we ought to value others, as much as possible present and conduct your-self in a manner worthy of respect, irrespective of your social status, gender, religion,race or culture.

Thanks for reading this post, if there are other ways people do not show respect feel free to leave a comment and contribute to this post

you can also read my post on LOVING YOURSELF.

 

10 Relationship lessons to imbibe in 2018.

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1). Relationship books can serve as guiding systems but they don’t answer all relationship questions.

 

2). Relationships do not cure all forms of loneliness; you have to sort that yourself.

 

3). No matter how knowledgeable you are in the area of relationship you will still have lapses you have to work on.

Continue reading “10 Relationship lessons to imbibe in 2018.”

How Pain Helps Us Evolve

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.james1:2”

Pain is an excruciating feeling, there are different kinds of pain, the pain of watching a loved one battle with a chronic illness like cancer, the pain of failing after trying so hard, the pain of a break up or divorce. Some events carry more pain than others; pain has the ability to put the human spirit down but in the end if we can overcome them we come out victorious.

Watching an episode of one of my favorite TV series the Big Bang Theory one of the series character Sheldon cooper made an insightful statement “pain is evolutionary. Many people would testify that pain teaches us more things than we can hope for; people have risen from failure, poverty and all kinds of pain to become better people. Remember suffering also builds character

Like a little child learning what is good and bad, pain teaches even the immature what to avoid, imagine a child that touches a hot object and withdraws from the pain the child learns to not touch such object in future. Humans as a race have used disease outbreaks, famine and natural disasters to improve the choices they make and protect themselves from such disasters.

Even the bible teaches us to rejoice even in pain,

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.james1:2”
SIX WAYS PAIN HELPS PEOPLE EVOLVE

 

1) We have seen many artist perform better when they feel hurt, Taylor swift sings better songs each time she is heartbroken, same goes for Adele and many other successful artist

2) ln business adversity helps you become a better entrepreneur, you learn what risks to take and which ones to avoid.

3) In relationships no matter how painful breakups might be they tell us what we are doing wrong and how to adjust ourselves to become better partners.

4) In academics, failing a course can be devastating but if you stay strong and focused you would discover your areas of weakness and use it to improve yourself.

5) In personal growth, pain and suffering helps you become more aware of yourself and your environment.

6) In sports, athletics or anything worth pursuing in life the pain of failure and rejection has helped people realign their purpose and what matters most to them.

Pain is only useful as a tool towards success and personal development when it is channeled into positive energy but pain also has negative outcomes such as alcohol abuse, depression and anger. Life should be pleasing and full of joy but sometimes we face pain, sadness and rejection, what we chose to do with these feelings is what matters the most.

Stay blessed.

​I WAS MADE FOR MORE!

For I know the thoughts I think towards you, thoughts of good and peace, not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11

I was made for more.

I   was made for more than acquiring luxury.

I was made for more than marriage.

I was made for more than obtaining degrees.

I was made for an assignment.

The creature earnestly awaits my manifestation.

I am a letter sent from heaven.

The world is eager to read me.

I will not be a closed, hidden letter.

I shall be read on the hills.

I shall illuminate my world.

I was made for a greater purpose.

I was made for more.

Five Ways Comparison Can Ruin Your Life.

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“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare everybody will respect you”  Lao Tzu

 

 

Comparison is a huge word these days, it is a killer of self-esteem and a doorway to depression here are five ways comparison can ruin your life.

 

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(1) Comparison can ruin your self-esteem

Usually when people are comparing themselves with others they usually make unfair comparisons, take for example when you feel bad because the girl or guy next door is better looking than you are, you forget that genetic makeup makes a person.  The fact that he or she  better looking than you doesn’t make you less desirable or less attractive it just means you should find what suits you in terms of clothes, hairdo etc. Wear a positive self-esteem and you would be just as attractive as the guy or girl next door. Many models have dropped out of modelling agencies, became addicted to drugs and alcohol because they couldn’t deal with the fact that another girl or girls could be more good looking than they are. Comparison makes you focus on being an exact copy of another individual instead of being a better version of yourself.

 

 

“Comparison is the death of joy”   Mark Twain

(2) Comparison is a joy killer

Unfair comparison is a joy killer a lot of people are in metal clinics because they compare themselves unrealistically with others, some go as far as comparing themselves with celebrities which is really unfair to themselves. If you open most social media pages especially a social media page like Instagram you would be depressed if you don’t have a positive self-esteem. There are flashy lifestyles being displayed on social media pages and you would be astonished at how many of them are unreal and staged. Aside social media, on a daily basis we see some of our friends and co-workers living expensive lifestyles and you are wondering where did I get it wrong, how come I don’t have as much money or drive the expensive cars these people drive. The truth is not all that glitters is gold this isn’t about hating or being envious, not everyone around you does legitimate businesses and even if they did, you should only be spurred to work harder by their success not sitting in one corner brooding over how everybody seems to have a better life than you do. 

 

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photo credit: wikihow.com

 (3) Comparison is a body changer

Now unfair comparison in this area has led some people to the cosmetic surgeon’s table and we all know the after effects of plastic surgery if the cosmetic surgeon gets the procedure wrong, you come out with worse looking features than your original features. Let’s talk about light skin for a bit, you know how people feel light skinned individuals are more attractive, some individuals have taken it upon themselves to play God with their skin color. They apply numerous cosmetic products that promise to lighten up their completion, personally I have seen this go south ways on many individuals who tried to change their completion by bleaching. Aside having skin burns and discoloration there is also cancer of the skin to consider.

 

 

(4) Comparison is a destiny changer

So people aren’t so confident of their decisions in life, comparison can lead to feelings of envy which then leads to doing whatever you think the other individual is doing. People get this from wanting to be like their friends, colleagues, classmates who is seemly better than them. If the a friend decides to enroll in a particular school they are off to apply for that same school. Has it ever occurred to you that we were all created to walk different paths some people’s path might seem more rewarding at the moment but if you are patient enough you would find out that yours is equaling rewarding and most importantly fulfilling because it was meant for you.

 

 

(5) Comparison gives the green Monster an open invite to your house.

My personal experience with comparison, early hours of one beautiful morning I woke up and checked my phone as usual, I had notifications from almost all my social media pages so I opened Instagram, scrolling through pictures and videos I came across a video of a classmate that had just gotten married. Sincerely that video was on point, you know how they shoot such videos they showed the bride, her dress, her shoes, how she was being made up, suddenly I didn’t feel so good this was not the first of such videos  I will be seeing on social media pages but for some reason this particularly video got to me. I wasn’t jealous of the bride but I just felt like all my mates had married except me which was totally untrue but thoughts just kept running through my head. To cut the long story short I was saved by words of wisdom from the various motivational speakers and Christian leaders I listen to. Your joy should not come from how well your life is in comparison to others but what God is saying and has said about you. You must always believe you are on the right tract irrespective of setbacks.

You are a unique individual with God given potentials focus more on improving yourself on a daily basis and less at what those around you are achieving.

 

better you
photo credit: spartagenxt.org

 

How to stop comparing yourself to others

  • Be content and grateful with whatever you have right now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work hard to have a good life.
  • Focus on your positive traits and talents.
  • Learn to be happy when good things happen to others.
  • Be self-aware; know what is right for you.
  • Most importantly love yourself.