The Val’s Day Fever.

Love is in the air and ‘Cupid’ is on a serious mission, please protect your heart from its flying arrows but if you are looking for love then open your arms wide and receive your miracle. As its Valentine I took time to ask some folks what was their honest opinion about Valentine’s Day (aka .Val’s day).

Some folks are actually of the opinion that Val’s day should not be celebrated , they believe it is pretentious to set aside one day to shower your loved ones with love, gifts and most importantly your attention but instead every day you spend with your loved one should be valentine’s day.

Though I agree with them but we shouldn’t be left out of the fun and celebration just because we have a bias towards Val’s day. Personally I believe amidst all that is going on in people’s lives; work, school, raising kids, and keeping up with the economy, it’s not a bad idea to just pause and take a day to remind our loved ones and ourselves the essence of love and loving someone.
Valentine is like Christmas, Easter and every other fun holiday. It has a lot of significance in that it remains us of our obligations to our loved ones, the needy and other human beings around us, and as Apostle Paul said in Romans 13:8 ‘ owe no man nothing but love’ .

Val’s day should also be a day to remember those around us, your cranky neighbor, the old man or woman down the street, the estate security guard and people you know cannot afford the luxury of vals day (abi no bi person wey don chop belleful dey celebrate vals day) sorry if you don’t understand pidgin English, my point is aside ‘Le Boo’ who is probably sure you would both celebrate Val together, these people will appreciate it better.

But wait who is Valentine’s Day really about, Valentine is a day set aside to celebrate Saint valentine who was a Christian martyr , However over the years it has become the day of romance for lovers all over the world and a day for lovers to remind themselves how much they mean to each other. I salute the idea of Valentine’s Day as a day of love and I hope you have fun this valentine season. What is your take on valentine, please feel free to leave a comment.

N.B: If you are single, Val’s day is not a day to feel lonely or depressed, do something nice for yourself and stay happy. Bye friends and if you have a Boo for Val enjoy yourself this valentine and stay safe.


Walk The Talk: The follow through process.

“Words do less than 10 things, but actions do more than 10 thousand things. Leaders don’t talk in vain; they follow with actions.” Israelmore Ayivor

Talk is cheap goes the popular saying, unless you are an MC or standup comedian who gets paid to talk, then just saying things you will do and not acting on them can kill your chances of ever achieving your dreams. It is common for ambitious people to verbalize their dreams to their family and friends and possible prospective investors but the real trick comes in pursuing those ideas no matter the obstacles one might encounter.

If you observe closely everyone has some sort of dream they will like to achieve or the next big idea but the question is are they willing to pay the price to see these dreams come to reality, many people give up on dreams when the road to achieving those dreams get rough or after they have had several setbacks.

Since this is a new year, you can have a fresh start; here are 6 ways to walk the talk.

  • Write down your dreams or ambitions, don’t just say it put it in ink and paper (a journal preferable).
  • Expect setbacks not failure, success by chance or at first trial are rare but if it happens to you then congratulations.
  • Expect hard work, someone once said people run away from opportunities because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. If you want to be successful be prepared to serve the time necessary.
  • Be accountable, have a mentor or someone who has achieved success in the area you are pursuing and seek their advice and counsel.
  • Be courageous, take a step towards achieving your dreams, I have tried it, it was scary at first but it paid off in the end. Sign up for that class, invest in that business etc. No one ever achieves anything by doing nothing.
  • Believe, be optimistic, be positive, have faith, the need for these can never be over emphasized.


True Satisfaction: How to get all your needs met.

Do you sometimes feel unsatisfied and unaccomplished? So do I and many other people. Find out the path to true satisfaction in this post.



Life is full of many treasures and acquiring them has always been man’s goal, the main reason why we pursue these treasures (cars, houses, relationships etc) is because they come with promises of making us happy. But do they really make us happy?

Take delight in the lord and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4

Some of us might have experienced situations where everything is great in our lives our bills are paid, we have food to eat, good clothes to wear. we probably just acquired something we have always wanted but for a split moment we realize that we feel empty and it’s like there is a huge hole in our hearts that needs filling and most of us  go out of our way to get things and people to feel that vacuum. 

For single guys or ladies they may decide that the vacuum…

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The laziness effect: how laziness is holding you back.



Everyone wants to be a high achiever but are you really willing to pay the price for success, are you willing to do the time required to achieve excellence in whatever field you are in.

“Luck is always the last refuge of laziness and incompetence.” James Cash Penney

I know some people get lucky and win lotto’s or get a big break despite the fact that they are not driven people or hard workers but if those people are not careful they hardly maintain their success.

“There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living.”  David Starr Jordan

Having dreams and talking about them is not enough to be successful, you have got to walk the talk if you want to see results.

But what does it really take to be lazy; here are 9 signs that tell if you are…

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How to Respect Yourself.

“Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolised .” Albert Einstein

They say respect is reciprocal true, across all races, cultures, sex or age groups a desire for respect is common. We all want to be respected and valued but do we offer the people around us the same courtesy.

Here are five ways you could respect people and ultimately yourself.

(1) Respect  People’s Boundaries or Wishes.


“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.” Laurence sterne

Having attended a boarding school and living in the hostel as a student in the university, one thing I have learnt is to give people their personal space, if someone says nobody should use my bucket or nobody should use my stuffs without my permission I think its sheer courtesy to actually obey their wishes, this does not mean you are afraid of them but rather that you are willing to make room for their wishes.

Some individuals do not like to be touched, everyone has boundaries especially when cohabiting with others whether it is being in a student hostel or living with your siblings, if someone says don’t wear my clothes, use or go through my things without my permission, respect their wishes.

(2) Don’t  Look Down on People

“I speak to everyone in the same way whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” Albert Einstein.

Everyone around you has a quota to contribute, someone has to drive you around (e.g. public transportation) and someone has to sell newspapers or deliver your mail. All these people are relevant to you because they supply your needs in form of Goods and services. You being a managing director or CEO does not mean you should look down on others within or outside where you work.

“A person is a person no matter how small.” Dr Seuss

It’s too easy to feel you are better than the next person, when you see people who are not up to your standard, how do you treat them, do you treat them with disdain or respect. It’s true there can be no equal society but there are equal rights and everyone is entitled to a little respect.

 (3) Don’t Intimidate People


No one likes to be bullied, for example when you intimidate people especially in a work place environment, what you are saying is the people who you work with or supervise are incompetent and incapable of doing their work unless you push them around like puns on a chess board. And sometimes intimidating people comes from a place of deep insecurity where you believe to get respect you have to be intimidating to others. This behavior does not show value or respect for those around you be it friends, family or co-workers.

(4) Don’t Manipulate People

Everyone likes to be the smartest guy in the room but being the smartest guy in the room doesn’t mean you should use it to hurt others. There are different kinds of manipulations, some use tears and emotions to get people to do what they want, others use tricky and the list is endless. If you want something come out straight and ask for it, no one wants to be used. And if you are rejected, walk away like an honourable person.

(5) Respecting Peoples Opinion or Choices.

“Have a big enough heart to love unconditionally, and a broad enough mind to embrace the difference that make each of us unique.”  D.B Harrop

Everyone has a right to his or her opinion; one of the greatest forms of respect is to see the next human as rational and capable of having their own belief system. Am not saying you have to agree with what they believe in but when you tear down people for their views you demoralize them, rather if you have an argument with the way someone around you acts or the things they believe in, just present your case to them and if they don’t listen let them be.

If we value ourselves we ought to value others, as much as possible present and conduct your-self in a manner worthy of respect, irrespective of your social status, gender, religion,race or culture.

Thanks for reading this post, if there are other ways people do not show respect feel free to leave a comment and contribute to this post

you can also read my post on LOVING YOURSELF.





Pack your baggage!

The one that contains your shame.
The one that cotains all your past hurts.
The one that contains your desire to please everyone.
The that contains your need for Validation.
The one that contains your feelings of worthlessness.
The one that contains your desire to please Everyman that comes into your life with your money, body, and emotions.

Pack your baggage my dear, my beautiful one and drop it at the lords feet.
You who were made a little lower than the angels, how come fear grips you so intensely.
Where have you kept your Authority, the one Jesus paid for with his blood.
O daughter of the King! Where did you drop your crown. Did your leave it in the hands of the man your father warned your about or did you drop it at the house of the scorners who you father told you not to mind because they do not know his plans for you.
Pack you baggage of insecurities now! and drop it at the Lords feet.


10 Relationship lessons to imbibe in 2018.


1). Relationship books can serve as guiding systems but they don’t answer all relationship questions.


2). Relationships do not cure all forms of loneliness; you have to sort that yourself.


3). No matter how knowledgeable you are in the area of relationship you will still have lapses you have to work on.

Continue reading “10 Relationship lessons to imbibe in 2018.”

Feeling stuck? 8 ways to renew your mind

Sometimes I wonder why I learn something and after a while of trying to incorporate it into my life I give up. I realized that to win in life persistence is necessary. You have to constantly renew you minds with positive thoughts. I attend  seminars and read several self-help books on determination, discipline, emotional stability etc. but somehow each time I hit a road block in practicing what I have learnt I give up and say these things are only realistic in books, cliché right?




They say change is the only constant thing in life, whether we like it or not as the years go by change occurs in our lives from changes in our attitude towards life, to changes in how we relate with the people around us, change must occur. It is left for the individual to change positively or negatively.

Growing physically, emotionally and mentally can be hard as it takes conscious investment of time, money etc. There are many people who would love to change the way they live, exercise more, lose weight, read more, be more ambitious and effecient at work but what we don’t know is change can be hard and  will always meet a resistance. Take for example when trying to start a healthy lifestyle practice like exercising, your body resist this new change, you feel pain and aches in your joints and muscles. If you persist despite the pain in one to two weeks depending on your body you get accustomed to the pain or you don’t feel it at all.



In pursuing goals in entrepreneurship you need to take some risk, step out and try some new things. Taking risk doesn’t necessarily have to involve billions of dollars rather it’s about stepping out in courage and seeing opportunities where others see road blocks.

I once started a business in my environment though it seemed at first that the possible market for the product was non-existent .I went ahead and started the business with fingers crossed and money that I had invested at stake, I started telling people about the product and to my amazement to response was   incredible and I made a lot of profit from that venture till date the product is still in high demand.

Being an entrepreneur takes faith in yourself and what you believe in. During the time I encountered several challenges like people who didn’t like the product, critics who felt the business would flop.

Here are:


  1. Write down your beliefs on a board or a journal, it is said that writing goals and ambitions down makes you more likely to work towards them.
  2. Whenever you meet a resistance, always go back to you board or journal.
  3. Do not accept defeat easily, persistence is key.
  4. Attitude is everything. Your attitude towards the events that occur in your life matter more than you think. A positive attitude can change the outcome of a bad event.
  5. Surround yourself with people who believe in the same things as you e.g. In trying to be better at saving money surrounding yourself with people who are prudent about spending money and who you are accounted to, it will keep you grounded.
  6. Expect that there will be down days and there will be days of victory
  7. Don’t put pressure on yourself, in whatever you do move at your own pace (except when there is a deadline)
  8. Re-evaluate your goals and ambitions from time to time, this allows you to see how well you are doing and where you need to make adjustments.

The mind is a very powerful tool, as much as possible discipline yourself to think only positive thoughts.

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Twitter: @bennyini

How to Create Your Story

“Create your own story, stop trying to copy others.   Believe that you can make it just like every successful individual you know, heard of or have read of”. iniusoro

It’s sad that people go their whole lives searching for something they already have. I was at a party recently, when it was time for serve desert, I was served vanilla cake, it looked nice but I wanted chocolate cake because it looked nicer, more indulging and delicious than the vanilla cake. 

I could have asked them to change it but I said oh well!  I will just   have a taste of the chocolate cake since my friend Sarah had been served chocolate cake, when I tasted it  I was really disappointed it didn’t taste as nice as it looked. 

But the vanilla on my plate tasted awesome and to think I initially wanted the chocolate cake that got me thinking that sometimes life serves us vanilla cake but we want the chocolate cake we see on other people’s plate because it looks dark, rich, seductive and delicious.  We do not bother to taste ours first, so we do not know that are lives are as good as those people we keep comparing ourselves too maybe even better.

“Competition with others will distract you from you true purpose in life because you are trying to become the better version of someone else when you could become the best version of yourself” iniusoro

I strongly believe God created everyone with a purpose, but like the story of the wicked servant who buried his talent because he believed he had been dealt the worst hand by his master why did he do this?  He felt those who had two and five talents were automatically more prosperous than he was.

 Most of us think this way, we think we have no talent and someone who can dance, sing and act has a better chance of being successful than we do, but it’s not true, there are individuals whose only gifting is being wonderful business men and women and that have managed to be more successful than most singers, actors, musicians etc in the world. 

We need to create our own stories, just like the many great men and women we hear of and how do we do these, by pursuing our dreams on a daily basis, being persistent, patient and never giving up. Most importantly focus on you not others. People can serve as role models but you must decide to emulate their positive traits without trying to become exactly like them because you never know you might have a bigger assignment in this world than they do.

My Faith Walk (Letters to Aunty ini)

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Dear Aunty ini

Sometimes it drives me crazy when I cannot analyse a thing and determine its outcome accurately. I often feel frustrated like when will life’s troubles end.
I wonder how those guys in the bible did it, Joseph who was in prison for 5 years, job who lost everything and had to wait on God for redemption.
Abraham who left his native land to dwell somewhere else because God lead him, Can you imagine living in a wonderful country and God leads you to pack all your belongings and travel  to a land which he will show you without telling you if the people in that place are nice, if they have electricity and fast internet service, you are not even so sure you heard God correctly. In all this I see God calling us to total obedience in the little things so that in the big extremely important things when God leads us we would obey him with total trust and faith.

When I also think of faith in God I am reminded of a man on a cliffhanger and he says God please rescue me, and God say let go and he is afraid to let go because what lies beneath him is unknown.

Aunty ini I have learnt to trust God blindly even when I don’t understand after all, his thoughts for me are good and not of evil.

Yours truly