5 practical principles for overcoming fear


image from the movie inside out

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Franklin D Rossevelt

SELF-AWARENESS: self awareness is self knowledge, knowing your strengths and weaknesses . It is self evolution ,it usually requires tremendous change in the perception of our individual self. It is self honesty or sincerity ,it helps you see yourself in a better light and to see yourself just as you are not as others see you, self-awareness helps you be your own individual .

When you are self- aware you know when something is right or wrong for you, when you should follow trends, move with the crowd or follow your own path.

It helps you make concrete decisions about your life, be it  a career choice, marriage, friendship etc. . You are your own boss you take or reject advice rather than being pushed around by family and friends. Being self -aware is knowing  You can  acknowledge that you are a human being capable of making mistakes and you don’t expect to be perfect .

for example you know you are no good at math or anything that has to do with formulas and calculations, knowing this makes you take an easy approach towards studying the subject.  your normal reaction to fear  would be to skip classes for that course ,postpone studying it till its time for exams, probably when it is two or three days to the exam that’s when you start looking for who to teach you. you will discover that when you sit for the exam you will be in-equipped to solve the questions and would most likely not do well in that exam.

SELF-CONFIDENCE: Remember that guy  who could make everyone laugh and was so sure of him-self even if he was doing something ridiculous, yes I remember him, and no he doesn’t have super powers, its actually called self confidence.

Before I tell you what self-confidence is, let me tell you what its not ,Self-confidence is not acting like you are better than others , it never feels false ,it is not feeling like you are better than others. It is not something that you should feel guilty for wanting, It is not the ability to bully others or promote yourself by tearing someone else down.  Self-confidence is actually a feeling of certainty about who you are and what you have to offer to the world. It is also the feeling that you are worthwhile and valuable. When you are self-confident you can laugh at your-self when you make mistakes and learn from them instead of dwelling on them, your life would be so much more fun and easy if you have self-confidence.

BELIEF SYSTEM: Your belief system  whether you like it or not affects the way you perceive situations and deal  with fear or anxiety. When you are very pessimistic, things tend to go just as we imagine they would. Check out optimistic people,  every thing just seems to go well for them, its because they always think positively they see the good in every situation and even when something doesn’t go as planned they shrug and just move on. Learn to accept things as they come and always hope for the best, drop all the negativity and think positively . A practical example could be that in preparing for a job interview  instead of being afraid that you might not do well in the interview and having thoughts of 1000 ways in which the interview might go wrong( like focusing on what you are lacking) think about how you deserve the job and how during the interview you would place emphasis on your strengths as an individual that would make you an asset to the company or organization.

SELF-DISCOVERY: Discover who you are, and what you are good at, when you tell most people to discover them selves they only think about talents singing, drawing , dancing, acting e.t.c. Discovering who you are is discovering you strengths .Nobody knows you better than you do but inputs from family and friends could be very helpful in knowing what you are most good at .

Confidence strives and grows when you focus on your strengths rather than on your weakness . Decide what you are really good at and develop it. The whole essence of self discovery is to realize that everyone is good at something if they could just discover what it is, comparing yourself with others could be very dangerous as it will put pressure on you to be like those people, take for example Mister A is very charismatic, he is an extrovert and likes to be the center of attention on the other hand Mister B is the opposite of Mister A (introverted, shy and avoids being the center of attention) if they were given a task involving public speaking Mister A would most likely do better in terms of carriage and delivery ,content wise Mister B might do better but feel miserable because he has measured his performance  with someone who is better than him at public speaking. Its ok for someone to be better than you at something rather than trying to turn yourself into something that you are not embrace your strengths and build on them.

FAITH: Faith is the opposite of fear and like they say faith can move mountains and make the impossible to become possible a little faith in your-self and your abilities is not a bad idea. Even in situations where it looks like everything is upside down, just believe it would be better some day. Believe that everything will work out fine . There are deep seated fears that require a lot of faith like , fear of the future , fear of rejection, fear of marriage or intimacy. This fears could arise as a result of  our past experiences or mistakes.

Fear paralyzes us but faith propels us to be all that we dream of. It propels us to be ambitious and pursue our utmost desires.

NOTE: There is a good kind of fear, Don’t get me wrong when I say there is a good kind of fear; when fear drives us to work harder ,meet deadlines and pursue our dreams (eg fear of poverty, fear of contacting STDs ) it is only when we can convert fear to a driving force towards doing the right things that we can call it a good thing. Till my next post remember ” YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE AS LONG AS YOU HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN YOUR-SELF”.


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